Unravelling Anxiety 2

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Marylayo: Welcome to Marylayo Talks, a podcast

that.

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Marylayo: Discusses mental health and

spiritual well being.

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Before we jump in, there may be episodes that

are particularly sensitive for some.

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Marylayo: Listeners, and if that applies, then

I hope you'll be able to join me.

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Marylayo: Whenever you feel ready and able.

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Today's episode is part two of Unraveling

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Anxiety, and I'm with Susie Williams, a person

centered psychotherapist who's just passionate

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about self discovery, self development and

personal growth.

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In part one, Susie shared about different ways

anxiety can express itself and how to gauge

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when to reach out.

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For that extra support, we also explored some

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techniques that can be used to help deal with

the physical symptoms of anxiety.

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Before closing, we started to look at dealing

with the underlying root causes, which can

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mean revisiting earlier experiences in

childhood.

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Let's join in the conversation.

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Marylayo: Sadly, one of the things that came

to my mind was how it's almost like a running

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joke.

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If someone's to visit a mental health

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professional, they're always going to bring up

their childhood.

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But there is a reason for that.

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And as you were talking, it was just reminding

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me that it's true that people shouldn't

dismiss or try and fix the now because what

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they're experiencing is in the now.

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The history behind it has formed from way back

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and therefore you have to go way back to be

able to address it and address it effectively.

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I get why childhood experiences or that

exploration can go back to the past.

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Suzi: Yeah, absolutely.

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And you're so right because there is a stigma

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about therapy and childhood.

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But a supportive therapist is not going to

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allow you to I wouldn't say not going to allow

you, but in response to treating anxiety, what

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we're looking for is just the origins and to

then be able to reframe it.

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And I'm of the standpoint of imagine a garden,

a garden that has grown sort of out of

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control.

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You go out, you cut the garden, you cut the

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grass and you get rainfall, and then within a

few weeks it's back and it's even growing even

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more wild and the weeds are coming out.

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These weeds are coming out because they have

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not been plucked out.

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Yeah.

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So it's sort of a similar process for working

to find out the origins of your beliefs and

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your perceptions.

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It's going into the childhood to investigate

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where it all started and to reframe, which is

symbolic to the plucking out of those weeds

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which are showing up in my current life now

and creating anxiety.

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But I just want to say that not all anxiety

stems from childhood, but it is a treatment

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that can be used to sort of explore and help

to conceptualize the anxiety because we want

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to look at the background and where things

have stemmed from and what might be keeping

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your anxiety going.

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So it is necessary just to say that.

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Marylayo: Sure. So Susie, based on your

experience, I'm assuming that so many of your

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clients, you have to deal with anxiety.

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Basically, you have to address that or it

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comes up.

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So it's not a question, but I guess I just

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want to get a sense of how common does it come

up?

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And when it comes up and you do treat it with

your clients, how long does that process take?

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Yeah, well, it may vary.

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Suzi: Yeah, I mean, it comes up a lot.

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Anxiety is very, very common.

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My goodness.

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It's really common.

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And in terms of how quick people.

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Marylayo: Can how people respond and I'm

thinking more about the root cause in terms of

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addressing it, not the outward, more physical

manifestations that you talked about earlier.

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It's about, okay, if you really want to get it

treated.

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So it's not that you're managing it or you're

controlling it.

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You're actually overcoming it.

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And it's no longer something that you

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experience because of those past issues that

are manifesting themselves through anxiety, I

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guess.

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So how long could that process take?

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If it's going to be if someone was to go to a

professional like yourself and I'm

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experiencing anxiety, actually, let me give an

example.

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So I know someone, and actually, I know

several people who have a phobia when it comes

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to flying, and one person that I know, they

fly, but, oh my goodness, it's a traumatic

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event.

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They're thinking about it days before their

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flight.

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If they're the kind of person that if they

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were sat next to a stranger on the plane, they

would grab that stranger's arm and squeeze it

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because that's how bad it is.

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And then you've got another person that does

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not fly.

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So they're very limited in terms of when it

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goes to on holidays, when it comes to

traveling, they only go local.

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And for me, it frustrates me and it saddens me

that how people, including myself, can be

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affected by anxiety.

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And if it can be addressed as what you're

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saying, and I do believe it can be addressed,

then it's from that, I guess that's the

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context of me asking, from your experience,

how long could that process take for

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treatment?

So it's not even just managed and controlled.

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It's actually dealt with.

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Suzi: And I think that's to do with the

severity and the level of the anxiety that the

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person is experiencing.

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So you get two scenarios.

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One who flies, but whilst flying, it's very

discomforting for them.

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And then one who does not fly at all, which

could be a more deeper, deeper issue.

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So in terms of therapy, you would want to

explore again, my approach would be to explore

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the origins and to sort of look at what could

be sustaining the anxiety.

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And that might be to do with lifestyle factors

like continuing to avoid exposing yourself to

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the situation.

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Yeah.

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So just to say it varies.

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We all heal at different rates, we all respond

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differently to treatment.

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And from my experience, I've seen clients who

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come in and they've got anxiety that is

related to might be work related stress that's

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created the anxiety.

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And so that therapy might be shorter, the

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length of therapy might be shorter, but

someone else's anxiety may stem from a

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traumatic event that happened again, sorry to

say the word, but in childhood, which would

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need revisiting and reframing, which might

take longer.

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So that's just to say that we all respond

differently.

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And I never really allocate a time when I'm

working with clients because my approach is

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also very person centered.

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And so that is to allow the individual to find

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that power within themselves to drive the

process.

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And it's about discovering those abilities to

heal, to self heal and to overcome your

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challenges.

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Yeah, I never really give a time on things in

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treatment with clients.

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Marylayo: I mean, that's good because some

people, when they go about going for, let's

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just say counseling therapy, they tend to have

them in batches, like six sessions, eight

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sessions.

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So I guess it's always good to not necessarily

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see it as an ongoing thing, but something that

someone can go to until they're at that point

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of let's call it freedom.

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Is that fair to say?

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Suzi: Yeah, freedom.

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They're in control of the anxiety because as

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you said at the start, anxiety is something

that it doesn't go away.

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And that's to say that anxiety is a normal

human emotion that we experience.

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But it's more about, okay, how do I manage

this?

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How do I take control of my thoughts to

alleviate the symptoms and to get through my

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day to day life and enjoy a fulfilling life

without anxiety in the background crippling

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me.

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Marylayo: And lastly, are there any parting

words that you would like to say or share with

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anyone who's listening, who let's say they

have anxiety to the level that's actually

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crippling them?

Is there anything you would want to say?

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Suzi: I would want to say to that person to

reach out.

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Reach out for help and talk, talk about what's

going on in your current life.

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Reach out for support.

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There's support all around.

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Support can come from friends, family,

neighbors, obviously, depending on how

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comfortable you feel.

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But I would say reach out for help and support

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to help you work through it, to help you

understand why you're anxious.

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And I know I said before, it doesn't go away.

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Let me just rephrase that.

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Anxiety can be diminished, but it may rear its

head now and again.

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But because you've dealt with the core issues,

the root issue, you now have control.

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You've gained control over it.

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You know how it comes, you know how it shows

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up in your life, you know what your triggers

are.

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But in order to get there, you do need

support.

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I wouldn't advise suffering in silence.

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Yeah, reach out.

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There are support lines.

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Support lines such as no panic helplines that

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you can call if you're feeling anxious.

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There's anxiety UK, there's rethink mental

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health who are a helpline that offer info and

advice on mental health issues.

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There's the Samaritans, who you can call 24/7.

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If you're experiencing panic attacks or you

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feel stuck and you don't know what your next

step is, reach out.

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And I just also want to say that as a

Christian woman, in times of when I might feel

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anxious, my point of call is to go to the

Father.

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My faith has helped me in times when I've been

anxious.

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And there is a Bible verse that says, cast all

your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

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And it's just knowing that for me, God cares

for me.

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So talking to God, praying about what might be

bothering me is a starting point for myself.

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And if you're not a Christian, reach out to

someone who cares about you, because that

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person may be able to direct you to the right

place where you can receive support and help.

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Yeah.

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Marylayo: Thank you, Susie.

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I love how you just talked about making sure

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that that person reaches out for that support,

that level of support, because it's out there.

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Suzi: There's so much out there.

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So it's a reach out.

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Don't suffer in silence.

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You can overcome this.

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Marylayo: Love it.

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Especially those final words.

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Thank you so much for sharing your experience

and even touching on the fact that if someone

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does have faith, if someone is a Christian,

they can also talk to Father God and apply

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that scripture in their daily lives.

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Marylayo: Here's a spiritual wellness tip that

you can meditate on.

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It's one Peter, chapter five, verse seven, and

reads, cast all your anxiety on him because he

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cares is for you.

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Thank you for listening.

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Marylayo: Do follow and join me again.

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Marylayo: Next time on Marylayo Talks Beyond

the Smile.